The holiday season, with its twinkling lights and festive cheer, is often synonymous with joy and togetherness. However, for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one, the holidays can become an emotional minefield. Three years ago, I lost my little sister, and each holiday season since then has been a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute I’m excited about putting up my Christmas tree early, then the next minute I’m crying over a peppermint mocha at Starbucks. Grief is wild. One thing I do know is that it’s the memories that we shared that I long for the most. The memories of dancing to christmas music in the kitchen, making christmas cookies each year, watching elf over and over with hot cocoa, singing at the tops of our lungs to all I want for Christmas is you, getting Starbucks peppermint mochas, water taxi rides, going to the Macy’s day parade. Not the presents that I got or if the food was perfect or if the house was decorated perfectly. Those things don’t matter when all you wish for is to get those same memories back. So if there is one thing that you can take away is focus more on creating the memories with your loved ones and being present with them. That is something that will be remembered and cherished for years to come.
And if you are someone who is grieving this holiday season some ways I navigate the complexities of grief during this time are:
- Feel All The Feels:
Grieving during the holidays can be overwhelming, and completely exhausting. I make sure to just feel whatever it is I am feeling and know that It's okay to feel sadness, anger, and even moments of joy. Allow yourself the space to grieve without judgment.
- Create New Traditions:
While the holidays may trigger memories of times spent with your loved one, consider creating new traditions to honor their memory. I have special ornaments on the tree dedicated to Mikayla and we make sure to decorate her grave for Christmas. Incorporating elements of your loved one into the festivities can be a meaningful way to celebrate their life.
- Seek Support:
Grief can be isolating, especially when everyone around you seems to be caught up in the holiday spirit. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group who can offer a listening ear or a comforting presence. It’s okay not to be okay and it’s okay to ask for help.
- Embrace Self-Care:
Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. Ensure you get enough rest, eat well, and engage in activities that bring you comfort. Consider walks, meditation, and physical activities that help manage stress and anxiety.
Just know that grieving during the holidays is a unique and challenging experience and you are not alone. It's okay to grieve, and it's okay to find moments of joy amidst the pain. May this holiday season bring you moments of peace and comfort.